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From the Blog

Feeling Out of Control: Understanding and Reclaiming Your Power

Do you ever feel like life is spinning out of control, leaving you feeling overwhelmed and powerless? You’re not alone. Many of us experience moments or even extended periods where it seems like circumstances are beyond our control. Whether it’s work stress, relationship challenges, health issues, or a combination of factors, feeling powerless can be incredibly distressing. In this blog, we explore the root causes of why you feel you have no control over your life and practical ways to regain a sense of control.

Understanding the Root Causes: Why You Feel Like You Have No Control Over Your Life

Feeling like you have no control over your life can be a complex and multifaceted experience, influenced by a variety of internal and external factors. Let’s delve deeper into some of the common causes:

Stress and Overwhelm:

The relentless pressures of modern life, whether from work deadlines, strained relationships, financial worries, or other responsibilities, can pile up and become overwhelming. When faced with an avalanche of stressors, it’s natural to feel like everything is spinning out of control, leaving you feeling paralyzed and powerless to take action.

Lack of Boundaries:

Difficulty setting boundaries with others or saying no to additional responsibilities can leave you feeling stretched thin and at the mercy of others’ demands. Without clear boundaries in place to protect your time, energy, and well-being, it becomes challenging to prioritize your own needs and goals when life is too much stressed further exacerbating feelings of helplessness.


The relentless pursuit of perfection in every aspect of life can set unrealistic standards and expectations. When things inevitably don’t go according to plan, the gap between reality and your idealized vision can breed feelings of inadequacy and frustration.  It gives you a feeling like you have no control over your life. This perpetual cycle of self-criticism and self-doubt undermines your sense of control and can leave you feeling like you’re constantly falling short.

Unpredictable Circumstances:

Life is inherently unpredictable, and unforeseen events can throw even the best-laid plans off course. Whether it’s a sudden illness, job loss, or natural disaster, these unexpected twists and turns can disrupt your sense of stability and security, leaving you feeling powerless and uncertain about the future.

Lack of Self-Confidence:

Low self-esteem and a lack of confidence in your abilities can undermine your sense of control over your life. When you don’t believe in yourself or your capacity to handle challenges, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by even the smallest obstacles, leading to a sense of powerlessness and resignation.

Past Trauma:

Traumatic experiences from the past can leave deep emotional scars that affect your sense of control in the present. Whether it’s childhood abuse, a traumatic accident, or the loss of a loved one, unresolved trauma can breed feelings of helplessness and vulnerability, even in situations where you have the power to make choices.

Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms

In an effort to numb the pain and escape from overwhelming feelings of stress and anxiety, some people turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms such as substance abuse, overeating, or excessive screen time. While these behaviors may provide temporary relief, they ultimately exacerbate feeling out  of control and can create additional problems in the long run, trapping you in a cycle of dependency and despair.

Lack of Support:

Feeling isolated or unsupported can make it even harder to cope with life’s challenges and regain a sense of control. Without a strong support of friends, family, or community, it’s not easy to  face problems alone. When life is too unfair, it might amplify feelings of helplessness and despair.

6 Steps To Regain a Sense of Control

There are steps you can take to regain a sense of control and empower yourself to navigate life’s challenges with resilience and strength.

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings:

The first step in regaining control is acknowledging how you feel. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed or powerless at times. Allow yourself to experience these emotions of feeling out of control without judgment. Recognizing and accepting your feelings is the first step towards making positive changes.

2. Identify What You Can Control:

While there may be many aspects of your life  feeling out of control, there are also elements that you can influence. Take some time to identify what aspects of your life you do have control over. This might include your thoughts, actions, reactions, and how you choose to prioritize your time and energy.

3. Focus on What You Can Change:

Once you’ve identified what you can control, focus your efforts on making positive changes in those areas. Break down larger goals into smaller, manageable steps, and take action towards them. By focusing on what you can change, you’ll feel more empowered and capable of creating the life you desire.

4. Practice Mindfulness:

Mindfulness can be a powerful tool for regaining a sense of control. By staying present in the moment and observing your thoughts and feelings without judgment, you can cultivate a greater sense of calm and clarity. Mindfulness practices such as meditation, deep breathing, and yoga can help you stay grounded and centered, even in the midst of chaos.

5. Set Boundaries:

Establishing healthy boundaries is essential for reclaiming control over your life. Learn to say no to commitments that drain your time and energy, and prioritize activities that align with your values and goals. Boundaries help protect your time, energy, and emotional well-being, allowing you to focus on what truly matters to you.

6. Focus on Self-Care:

Taking care of yourself is essential for maintaining a sense of control and well-being. Make self-care a priority by getting enough sleep, eating a balanced diet, exercising regularly, and engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. When you prioritize self-care, you’ll have the energy and resilience to face life’s challenges head-on.

Take the first step towards regaining control of your life by reaching out for support today!

Navigating feelings of being out of control is a challenging journey that requires understanding and empowerment. If you’re struggling to regain a sense of control in your life and seeking support to reclaim your power, therapy can offer valuable insights and guidance. Here’s how you can get started:

  1. Schedule a Consultation: Reach out to Uncover Mental Health Counseling to start a conversation about your experiences with feeling out of control. Our compassionate therapists provide a safe and non-judgmental space where you can explore your feelings and concerns.
  2. Connect with a NYC Therapist: Our team consists of experienced therapists who specialize in helping individuals regain a sense of control and empowerment in their lives. We’ll match you with a therapist who can offer personalized support tailored to your unique needs and goals.
  3. Begin Your Therapy Journey: Together with your therapist, you’ll explore the root causes of your feelings of being out of control and develop strategies to reclaim your power. Through compassionate guidance and evidence-based techniques, therapy can empower you to overcome obstacles, set boundaries, and take proactive steps towards creating a life that feels more manageable and fulfilling.

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